The time has come, where I state my farewell to being an active member of the Dark Empire of the Sith. This may come as a surprise to some, and not so much to others.
I'm going to rant a bit about my time in DE. This isn't meant to be degrading to looking down on the clan whatsoever. Obviously my good times in this clan outweigh the less-good. (none was bad). I basically wrote a book here, so skip to the end for a tl;dr if you don't care enough to read this.
When I first joined DE back in 2013, the motivation for that decision was fueled by the desire that I had to join a clan back when I first started playing this game in 2005. Back then I had no internet and never had a chance to try online multiplayer on Jedi Academy. All those years I just spent modding and playing Single Player. When I finally got my own laptop, I was drawn to JKA again, and this time I had internet to try out MP. I joined multiple servers and ended up on DE's server a few times. That's when I met Darth Martyr and Sidarious. They showed me how to have a lot of fun on a game with only 3 people playing, and we had some good times. They convinced me to join their clan even though we were the only real active people at the time.
We had a good few months, but then they went inactive and I just joined the staff at JKHub. During that time I was learning a lot about web design and setting up hosting accounts and forums, and I felt as though setting up a new website for DE would help bring back a lot of old members as well as appeal to new ones. I remember bugging Martyr about it and he told me to ask our leader Darth Apocalypse. I hadn't even talked to Apoc at this point, and I remember adding him on Xfire and him really hesitant to go along with my offer. But that summer of 2014, we worked closely together to get the new website to look and feel how we wanted as best as we could. It was a lot of work and I learned A LOT over these last couple years, in terms of web design and development. It was a fun time.
However, in terms of being in the clan and playing this game, I have always felt like I just joined the party way too late. A lot of what DE became was very competitively focused, which isn't what I had originally thought it was when I joined. Not that it really mattered in the end. It is a video game after all. But in the end, Jedi Academy requires an individual to really work hard and dedicate a lot of time and effort into being even just an average player. Throughout my time in DE, I've watched multiple members join as completely new players of the game and end up being extremely good. And that completely has to do with time and effort given to the game. That's just something I don't have, and didn't even when joining.
It has been hard to watch that happen, and yet I'm the second highest ranking member in the clan now. I definitely had the fastest career in DE, joining in 2013 and making Dark Council by 2015. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the potential that Apoc and Martyr saw in me, however I feel like it was a bad choice, simply because of my skill level. Apoc had always said that ranks in DE aren't really about skill, and I tried believing that, but that's just not how it works in video games. It's pretty much all about skill, at least in this clan. The fact that I went my whole DE career and didn't get a single accolade, not winning a single event, shows that I shouldn't have moved past the Knight rank, if that.
I love Jedi Academy, and I love playing with you guys. There's no doubt about that. But my favorite days of playing were when we weren't being competitive, because it let me enjoy the game without feeling like I needed to go train for a few months before coming back and playing with some of you. And sometimes I did want to learn and get better but then ended up not having time to continue it, or I just ended up feeling like it wasn't worth my time.
I'm at the point in my life where time is precious. Any free time that I give to video games, I'd rather be playing newer ones.
With all that said, I feel like DE has suffered ever since Skype became the default communication medium for a small portion of members. It was frustrating that I basically had no choice but to join the Skype call in order to feel included or even be noticed by people playing. Some days were better than others, but usually people in-game were isolated from the rest of the group because of this. TeamSpeak was a good alternative, since anyone can join that, but in games that voice chat isn't the main communication format, it automatically excludes any randoms that join the server. The effect of this is reflected in both the activity and participation of members, as well as recruitment and the appeal to newcomers. Multiple other members have expressed the same frustration with it.
In addition to the Skype issue, that turned into keeping a group text as well. This is now the main way we all communicate, and there's only 6 of us in that chat. It feels like DE just became a small group of friends chatting every once in awhile, occasionally playing a game or two now and then. And yes, DE is in another of our usual "breaks" but things definitely are different now. Again, don't get me wrong, I love playing and talking with you guys, but it's killing DE.
In the end I think the issue with all this is also activity. Many of us are feeling the same as me: wanting to play other games, getting tired of JKA, etc. Having events is fun and all, but I feel like if we're not active in the game all the time, we can't expect anyone to show up or even for DE to grow.
With all that out of the way, I'd like to thank Martyr for convincing me to join DE back then. I've been proud to serve as your number 2 since you took over as Dark Lord.
I'd also like to thank Sid. We've had some good conversations and I will always feel bad about passing you in ranks, since you've been around longer than I have. You were basically a mute when I first joined but you eventually became a very talkative person, which has been cool to see. You also became a very skilled JKA player, and it was awesome to see you continue to grow as a player and a member. Your ascension to Lordship was deserved!
And of course the "amigos" as you 3 have become known as, Blackout, Defcon, and Vaelance. You guys came in as complete noobs and are now 3 very important members of DE. You all 3 passed me in skill in a few weeks, and I'm very proud of how you've progressed in both JKA and as members.
And of course Apoc. You definitely were the most enjoyable to play with and talk to, even though you never went easy on me. I'm glad you gave me new website idea a chance and you allowed me to be promoted as often as I was. We ended up have a lots of good conversations, both serious and stupid. I'll always remember last summer and the constant video links that you'd send, the next more disgusting than the last!
TL;DR
So. In short(er). I feel like I never really have fit in here in DE, even from the beginning. I love playing and talking with you guys, but especially as a leader of the clan, I feel like I'm in the wrong place in the wrong game. I love JKA but I'm ready to move on. I shouldn't have to dread joining the server to play the game that I'm supposed to be helping lead a clan in. A Dark Council member should be motivated more than anyone to recruit and build up the clan. I just don't feel that anymore. I also think that there are some points I explain above that should be discussed as members and acted upon, if DE is to grow and move on.
Again, please don't take any of this as me grumbling about my time in DE! I obviously love it, otherwise I wouldn't have spent hours/days/weeks on this website and playing with you guys. DE is a family and see this as me moving away. We'll still be in touch and I'll still be hosting the website. But consider me a retired member from now on. Maybe when a new Star Wars game comes out that has a good clan atmosphere comes along, I'll rejoin you guys and your adventures.