A sad farewell
#1
The time has come, where I state my farewell to being an active member of the Dark Empire of the Sith. This may come as a surprise to some, and not so much to others.

I'm going to rant a bit about my time in DE. This isn't meant to be degrading to looking down on the clan whatsoever. Obviously my good times in this clan outweigh the less-good. (none was bad). I basically wrote a book here, so skip to the end for a tl;dr if you don't care enough to read this. Tongue

When I first joined DE back in 2013, the motivation for that decision was fueled by the desire that I had to join a clan back when I first started playing this game in 2005. Back then I had no internet and never had a chance to try online multiplayer on Jedi Academy. All those years I just spent modding and playing Single Player. When I finally got my own laptop, I was drawn to JKA again, and this time I had internet to try out MP. I joined multiple servers and ended up on DE's server a few times. That's when I met Darth Martyr and Sidarious. They showed me how to have a lot of fun on a game with only 3 people playing, and we had some good times. They convinced me to join their clan even though we were the only real active people at the time.

We had a good few months, but then they went inactive and I just joined the staff at JKHub. During that time I was learning a lot about web design and setting up hosting accounts and forums, and I felt as though setting up a new website for DE would help bring back a lot of old members as well as appeal to new ones. I remember bugging Martyr about it and he told me to ask our leader Darth Apocalypse. I hadn't even talked to Apoc at this point, and I remember adding him on Xfire and him really hesitant to go along with my offer. But that summer of 2014, we worked closely together to get the new website to look and feel how we wanted as best as we could. It was a lot of work and I learned A LOT over these last couple years, in terms of web design and development. It was a fun time.

However, in terms of being in the clan and playing this game, I have always felt like I just joined the party way too late. A lot of what DE became was very competitively focused, which isn't what I had originally thought it was when I joined. Not that it really mattered in the end. It is a video game after all. But in the end, Jedi Academy requires an individual to really work hard and dedicate a lot of time and effort into being even just an average player. Throughout my time in DE, I've watched multiple members join as completely new players of the game and end up being extremely good. And that completely has to do with time and effort given to the game. That's just something I don't have, and didn't even when joining. 

It has been hard to watch that happen, and yet I'm the second highest ranking member in the clan now. I definitely had the fastest career in DE, joining in 2013 and making Dark Council by 2015. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the potential that Apoc and Martyr saw in me, however I feel like it was a bad choice, simply because of my skill level. Apoc had always said that ranks in DE aren't really about skill, and I tried believing that, but that's just not how it works in video games. It's pretty much all about skill, at least in this clan. The fact that I went my whole DE career and didn't get a single accolade, not winning a single event, shows that I shouldn't have moved past the Knight rank, if that. Tongue 

I love Jedi Academy, and I love playing with you guys. There's no doubt about that. But my favorite days of playing were when we weren't being competitive, because it let me enjoy the game without feeling like I needed to go train for a few months before coming back and playing with some of you. And sometimes I did want to learn and get better but then ended up not having time to continue it, or I just ended up feeling like it wasn't worth my time.

I'm at the point in my life where time is precious. Any free time that I give to video games, I'd rather be playing newer ones.

With all that said, I feel like DE has suffered ever since Skype became the default communication medium for a small portion of members. It was frustrating that I basically had no choice but to join the Skype call in order to feel included or even be noticed by people playing. Some days were better than others, but usually people in-game were isolated from the rest of the group because of this. TeamSpeak was a good alternative, since anyone can join that, but in games that voice chat isn't the main communication format, it automatically excludes any randoms that join the server. The effect of this is reflected in both the activity and participation of members, as well as recruitment and the appeal to newcomers. Multiple other members have expressed the same frustration with it.

In addition to the Skype issue, that turned into keeping a group text as well. This is now the main way we all communicate, and there's only 6 of us in that chat. It feels like DE just became a small group of friends chatting every once in awhile, occasionally playing a game or two now and then. And yes, DE is in another of our usual "breaks" but things definitely are different now. Again, don't get me wrong, I love playing and talking with you guys, but it's killing DE.

In the end I think the issue with all this is also activity. Many of us are feeling the same as me: wanting to play other games, getting tired of JKA, etc. Having events is fun and all, but I feel like if we're not active in the game all the time, we can't expect anyone to show up or even for DE to grow.

With all that out of the way, I'd like to thank Martyr for convincing me to join DE back then. I've been proud to serve as your number 2 since you took over as Dark Lord.

I'd also like to thank Sid. We've had some good conversations and I will always feel bad about passing you in ranks, since you've been around longer than I have. You were basically a mute when I first joined but you eventually became a very talkative person, which has been cool to see. You also became a very skilled JKA player, and it was awesome to see you continue to grow as a player and a member. Your ascension to Lordship was deserved!

And of course the "amigos" as you 3 have become known as, Blackout, Defcon, and Vaelance. You guys came in as complete noobs and are now 3 very important members of DE. You all 3 passed me in skill in a few weeks, and I'm very proud of how you've progressed in both JKA and as members.

And of course Apoc. You definitely were the most enjoyable to play with and talk to, even though you never went easy on me. Tongue I'm glad you gave me new website idea a chance and you allowed me to be promoted as often as I was. We ended up have a lots of good conversations, both serious and stupid. Tongue I'll always remember last summer and the constant video links that you'd send, the next more disgusting than the last!

TL;DR

So. In short(er). I feel like I never really have fit in here in DE, even from the beginning. I love playing and talking with you guys, but especially as a leader of the clan, I feel like I'm in the wrong place in the wrong game. I love JKA but I'm ready to move on. I shouldn't have to dread joining the server to play the game that I'm supposed to be helping lead a clan in. A Dark Council member should be motivated more than anyone to recruit and build up the clan. I just don't feel that anymore. I also think that there are some points I explain above that should be discussed as members and acted upon, if DE is to grow and move on.

Again, please don't take any of this as me grumbling about my time in DE! I obviously love it, otherwise I wouldn't have spent hours/days/weeks on this website and playing with you guys. DE is a family and see this as me moving away. We'll still be in touch and I'll still be hosting the website. But consider me a retired member from now on. Maybe when a new Star Wars game comes out that has a good clan atmosphere comes along, I'll rejoin you guys and your adventures. Smile
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#2
Wow. Sad to see you go, I know we didn't talk much but you seem like a really nice guy (almost wrote "seemed" but that made it sound like you either turned out to be an ass, or worse, dead  Big Grin ). Anyways, I hope you have a good time, wherever you decide to go or do. Have fun, bud.  Smile
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#3
Indeed a sad farewell


You will be missed and despite a strong friendship weve formed with each other nothing can last forever especially since we are not the same clan as we were when i joined back in June 2014. I dont want to speak as a group because i know ill most likely be alone in this but i
see your points.

Our Communication as friends and the general skill cap of the game we play creates a border that seperates how we feel about playing and as much as some will agree  our appeal as Clan. The site been mostly dead and any randoms that join the server are basically second class citizens and just there until they leave

If this is the -[DE]- Apoc had invited me and Defcon to back in 2014 I doubt we would've stayed

Nice Words Circa, they certainly needed to be said and you will be missed



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#4
Sad to see you go man, anytime you wanna get on and play on pc or xbox let us know and good luck to you!!

keep in touch!!
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#5
This Clan may very well be seeing the last of it's days but we shall see. I agree with several of your points mainly regarding the small social circle and exclusion of new comers which was never an aspect of -[DE]- in the past. The Skype calls have segregated this Clan for sure and have excluded all the new comers. Wookiee even said that he felt unwanted around -[DE]- because he'd join and everyone would be dead quiet. To outsiders they don't know we are in a voice chat and dont want to be apart of it because not everyone (including me) likes to voice chat on the mic on the time if at all. However what comes to a surprise to me was how you say how competitive -[DE]- became.

Making -[DE]- stronger was always a primary aspect of my goals but I'm not sure why I didn't think of it that the competitive aspect of who wins actually creates fine boarders within people instead of bringing us closer together. However, on that same note there isn't a ton to do in-game besides fight each other otherwise we become no better than those JA+ servers where everyone is chatting in-game and doing nothing else but to his her own lol.


As for you thinking you never deserved the promotions... bruh you are insane. You have done some of the most work for -[DE]- than 90+ percent of everyone who's ever joined lol. Take that mumble bumble crap outta here.

I knew this day was coming though, and like I said on my farewell post that you are cherished in this Clan and I will remember our times together for the rest of my days. That goes for everyone else within -[DE]- as well (unless you joined and left within a week). Will always keep in touch.
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.-
Bruce Lee

"Honor is a fool's prize. Glory is of no use to the dead" -Darth Bane

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#6
It was a pleasure circ, I hope that this doesnt mean the last that i will see of you but I agree with ur reasoning. Great guy Circ, ur a fantastic person and im glad u are my friend  Cry
"And in the end...I am nothing." Now I know what you meant, my friend...
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#7
Well damn.... I forget to check the site and Circa jumps ship... Sad

That being said I understand exactly what you mean circa. I always liked jka but I never was that interested in honing my skills. I play games to have fun.

Lol apoc basically made me a council member solely on the basis of activity. However I agree with apoc that you deserved your post. You did a lot for this clan.

Enjoy your retirement. I'm sorry to say this... the pension plan here is horrible. XD
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#8
I finally have enough time to write a farewell to you, and the issue was school consuming my time.


However, back when I did hear the news, I was extremely saddened. Especially considering that Apoc had only left not so long ago, so I thought to myself, "First Apoc, now Circa...if Martyr leaves next then I'm going to hang the cape as well." And the reason behind that is quite personal, but I'm not ashamed of it. Circa, you are one of the few members of this clan that I've become close with. We've had a tremendous time together, through our conversations and in-game experiences. And you shouldn't ever feel bad about passing me in ranks so quickly, because you actually deserved it. In my time with the clan, you've put a lot of hard work in; I have never done as much as that. Although you are leaving, you will always be a part of this clan.


"Part of the crew. Part of the ship."
-The crew of the Flying Dutchman


Also, I do agree with your points. This clan has been slowed down, stopped perhaps, in terms of progress due to the destructive factor that is voice chat. I do accept the fact that I am amongst those who voice chatted nearly everyday. Many newcomers have slipped from our grasp as a result of this act. However, I can promise you that there are changes being made crucial to the survival of this clan.


As for the matter of you not feeling fit, I have noticed through our talks you have mentioned this to me in ways, and I tried to clear your head of that and I will continue to do so, because I do not believe this clan is all competition. Yes, it does seem that it is a competitive clan and I believe most clans are anyways, but -[DE]- also has that, forgive me Darth Apocalpyse for saying this, JA+ aspect where we talk a lot and do nothing to random stuff all day. So altogether, -[DE]- is a full package. But I don't want you to still think you never fit here, because you actually did. The same year Martyr and I found you was the same year I almost left. Luckily, Martyr was the larger reason why I stayed, but you were also a reason I stayed.


And now, you're leaving. I did have my suspicions, but I never thought you would leave until the clan finally declared its end. I definitely am sad. And I will miss you, my brother. We shall stay in touch.


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#9
Thanks for all the kind words, y'all. I do realize this may seem kind of an abrupt departure, and I apologize for that. Since DE was at a stand still, I didn't think I really needed to tell anyone about it before I announced it. I also had some of those things to say, which needed to be said.

Some of my favorite gaming memories have been in DE, and many of you have become good friends of mine, despite some of the age gap with some of you.

Perhaps I'll return in the future. I really hope a new game comes out that DE can confidently take a foothold in and merge to, comfortably leaving JKA behind. If that happens, expect me to either return to help in that, or at least help in any way I can.

And like I said, I'll still be around, much like Apoc has been. I'm glad we got the Emeritus and retired status set in place, which gives me a good incentive when I come visit. Smile But I'm also still hosting the site and will be available for anything related to that.
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